I am displaced in the balance,
homeless on the border of dark and light.
I find myself turning to one
or the other
and hating this in between.
I look to the sky, the singing bowl,
the copal next to jet.*
And I wonder why there’s no amber,
how it escaped this space of balance.
We are asked to pause,
but that’s not what I’m good at.
I need to charge forward,
choose a side.
The birch, in all its subtlety,
with its black on white
like yin and yang
just stands there.
So comfortable. So at home.
And I’m so lost.
I give too much. I crave the cold.
I worship the light. I despise the old.
So much to learn
after 34 years
and so much to gain
when I’m surrounded by love
and guided by balance.
* In this time of new moon, autumn equinox, Libra moon, Libra sun… it all has me thinking of balance (particularly with so much Libra in my astrological chart!). Yellow copal is what amber is many years younger (as young as 500), and jet is amber that has been burned in a forest fire. Yellow copal usually comes from Pine.